Your life IS the message
Earlier this month I got to spend four days celebrating my Awaken Your Lifecohort as they came to the close of their 200-hour program. Part of their graduation weekend included a half-day at Wild Horse Mountain Ranch where we spend time practicing leadership, congruency, clarity, and discernment with mustangs.
Here's what I love about working with horses — they don't care about my marketing message, couldn't care less about the car I drive up in or the money in my bank account, they don't need to know my "why" or my mission statement, and they certainly don't need me to give them my elevator pitch.
They don't care, not because they're a horse, but because they only thing they are looking for is am I congruent? In other words, do my actions match my inner feelings? If yes, they move in. If no, they move away.
My business is actually no different. The problem is, most of us are attempting to garner the attention of the people we want to serve using everything I listed above.
If I am unclear, my clients will tell me because they will move away. If I am clear, they will show me because they will move in closer. The most attractive person in any room isn't the one attempting to gain traction. It's the person with the greatest clarity.
But clarity is not a mental checkpoint. It is not a list of revelation you have in your life or something you can mentally conclude as "the right way to live."
Clarity is telling the truth about yourself to yourself.
When the people you vie to work with move away, do you tend to grasp for something shiny in a last-ditch effort to grab their fleeting attention? A tagline, a new business card, a compelling why statement, a marketing campaign and more cannot make up for the very simple truth:
YOU are your message.
I used to want to fill my programs with hundreds...no, thousands of people. Now, don't get me wrong, I am ALL for B.H.A.Gs (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals) BUT I am also for you actually succeeding. If I really think about it, I am MORE for your success than a goal standoff. And sometimes our goals don't set us up for success.
Do I actually want thousands of people? My business ego does from time to time, but my heart, on the other hand, has something else up her sleeve. I'm sharing this with you because no one ever shared it with me. And if you're like me, then you've been led to believe one of the biggest fallacies of self-development work today: you have to "get big" to make a difference.
And yet, all over my work the very opposite is proving to be true. And if your "message" didn't need to match the masses, how much built-in permission do you have to simply BE who you already are?
One of my values not only in life but in my work is transparency. I don't need to rip the vulnerability band-aid off to prove anything in particular, but I do want to share what is real and honest. I strongly feel that so much of self-development is a push for more joy without enough spaciousness given to the pain it is born out of.
As Brené Brown reminds us,
"Our sense of worthiness — that critical piece that gives us access to love and belonging — lives inside our story."
I don't believe joy, happiness, trust, or worthiness can be sought independently of a challenge, pain, hardship, or transition. But we seem to forego the latter, or do we really? I have never met a soul who hadn't endured (fill in the blank).
As a coach, my clients primarily come to me for new possibilities; to stretch their current reality and make more space for more of the things they want. In some ways, coaching is the Wild West of self-development. It promises brighter futures with fresh starts and the potential to not look back.
I used to love this. I mean, who doesn't like the idea of a clean slate? But this message leaves a wholehearted half out of the equation.
It sounds good, right? But expansion without depth is going to be washed away when the flood of life catches up. Why? Because new horizons aren't usually where we seek them.
We think they're in our strategy sessions, our shelves of books, our outlines of plans, and our promise to do better tomorrow. What if we were wrong? What if your next horizon is tucked inside your current conundrum?
Conundrums used to be pathologized, diagnosed, and medicated. For some, they still are. If all you seek is progress, then you know how inconvenient struggle in the midst of it is. It appears like a roadblock with no way through, and the default solution? To get busy moving the darn struggle out of the way.
But what if it IS the way?
Could it be that the very things we want to wish away and have quickly removed from our vault of experiences are the very things that can rebirth our lives? The very message we not only give and teach but LIVE?
Sometimes in my work I feel a bit alone, because while my clients come to me to help them carve new horizons, I am far more interested in excavating what brought you here in the first place. And this simply isn't everyone's cup of tea.
But for those who don't mind sitting with this for a moment, I can (almost) guarantee you'll find purpose, reverence, meaning, that you matter, clarity, peace of mind, direction, and ease. Yes, really.
Will you gift me 90 minutes of your time to show you the message you are already living? Click the link below to choose your time & date.
Before you click that link and book time with me, I want you to answer these questions for yourself:
Why seek a coach now? What was/is the tipping point that brought you to this place?
What do you need to come out of this conversation either knowing or remembering about yourself?
What is the cost of not doing this work now?
Who will be affected by you doing this work? Think of the ripple effect beyond what you can see.
What holds you back? What compels you to move forward?
OK — now...
Book a 90-Minute Possibility Creating Coaching Experience with me.
If after this session you don't wish to continue coaching that's OK! If you do, then we'll discuss what this looks like. These sessions are currently booked 1–2 months in advance.