The secret life of a LIFE coach
Somedays I wear Spanx (like right now), sometimes it is a stretch to walk past not one but two bakeries on my way into the studio, I have to have a motivational chat to get myself started on at least 2 of my 4 workout days, and even though I know better I have days where I allow the scale to dictate how I see myself in the mirror. Surprise, I am human! Isn't that great news? It is because of my human-ness that I love what I do that much more. Life coaches, fitness coaches, health coaches, wellness coaches (need I keep going?) are not coaches because they have something to teach you. We are coaches because we have spent dedicated time and energy with our own process and want to share in that experience with others. Now I can only speak for myself but I would be hard pressed to discover a certified coach who does not act from a place of personal conviction, we can't help it!
My weight loss journey quickly became less about the actual weight and more about taking a stand for myself and for my body. Not because I was overweight but because I was not kind to myself. The act of making an intentional choice to take care of myself sparked the start of a very significant time in my life - one where I decided if I wasn't happy that was ok, but only if I was prepared to accept it which I wasn't. So I decided to get happy! That was all I wanted. To wake up with joy and trust in my body each morning. I chose to be a life coach because it was my calling and it is a platform to listen to all the stuff I know women tell themselves everyday. If just one single woman can come away from a conversation with me feeling in control and with clarity for herself and her direction than I have succeeded.
Of course there are things I wish I knew when I started my journey and I want to share those with you. I have several conversations each week with women about their desire to boost their self-confidence. Many think if they could just change their outside then they could love their bodies. It seems like a rational thought, and it was what I went into my journey thinking.
We all have times in our lives where we think back and say, "I wish I knew then what I know now..." I can't go back, and that's ok because my journey is why I am here today. I can, however, share some insight with you!
A change on the outside can only result from a change on the inside
Self-confidence is not an external experience so it can not happen on the outside! To be confident is actually defined as, “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers, faith that you will act in a right, proper, or effective way, and being certain you will succeed.” Nothing in there says it's because you like what you see in the mirror. In fact, if the lens through which you see yourself is not certain then you will start to see things that aren't even there. Which brings me to my next point...
Be kind to yourself
Kindness is not overrated, especially when we are expressing kindness to ourselves! If you want to love your body through and through start with kindness. This includes how you set yourself up to accomplish goals or achieve new things. I watch women who are disappointed in their bodies use harsh diets and excessive exercise to "fix" the problem . We cannot expect our bodies to change when our means are harsh and extreme. Start with how you see and speak to yourself. Reenforcing unsupportive talk will keep you convinced you are broken, but you're not!
Have only great days and learning days
A good friend of mine and awesome health coach, Skylor Powell of Sprout Health Coaching, always reminds her clients that there is no such thing as falling off the wagon, and I totally agree with her. When you decide to make intentional changes in your life it is not black and white, which means it is not success or failure. It is a big grey area of learning - some days you will feel better than others. Holding that learning day over yourself as a 'failure' makes getting up tomorrow and starting fresh difficult. And since you are being kind to yourself now, know that is was a day to learn from. So do that and move on.
Treat your body & mind how you want them to treat you
You want to love yourself through and through? Then start by loving yourself through and through! I know you wish it weren't that simple. If it weren't that simple then you could come up with a million reasons why it's too difficult and just won't happen for you. But you see, with all those reasons I doubt you are experiencing great results. You know the things you tell yourself that only hurt you more, so choose to replace them with supportive things. You know the foods that create emotional and physical pain in your body, so chose not to consume them. Sometimes we are so fixated on cleaning things out of our life we forget to add things back in - what are some good things for you that you can add in today? Do that! Treat yourself how you want to be treated.
It starts and ends with you and only you. How will you treat yourself starting today?