The L Word
I had something else planned for today and after editing and revisiting that article for three days I threw it away. Because something else was more ready to be written and it was staring me in the face this whole time (see the photo above!). This theme has also been presented to me by three incredible women over the course of a couple months. Three different people. Three different meetings. One single message - can you fall in love with what is?
Then the book I finally picked up (see below) confirmed these three separate occasions and their now BIG place in my life. So the answer is...I'm working on it. (I'm one day in so it might take me a moment...)
My initial answer was 'no way!' Hear me out...
How can I love hate? How can I love suffering? How can I love pain? How can I love disease? How can I love racism? How can I love poverty? And the list goes on....
If I love what is am I not just throwing my hands up in the air and saying, 'Sorry...can't help you.'? Because this simply was not an option. This is why I'm a helper. A healer. A guide. A teacher. And this list could also go on.
I know I am not alone in this - if I love what is then what exactly am I doing here? This was really the question I needed an answer to. Because I have navigated my entire life around the idea that I incarnated to serve. To help. To heal. So...does this mean I am out of a job? Well. Yes, in a way.
Let me back up to these three women and their three messages.
The first woman I met with is a fellow intuitive and healer. We resonated right away - one of those conversations that I could have had for hours and hours. And in the midst of us talking I shared with her that as an empath I am often sick. That I walk around and 'see' so much pain and then I am in pain.
To which she replied - "How do you know they're in pain?"
And I said, "Because I can't imagine they're happy."
And then she said that thing that knocked me sideways - "You aren't absorbing their pain you are creating it yourself in yourself out of your judgment of what you assume someone else is experiencing. But what you're missing is this - whatever is being experienced in the world is the perfect expression of what it is. Can you love what is?"
The second woman I met with is also an intuitive, a teacher, and a writer. I shared with her a bit about my dilemma around allowing things to be as they are and then what does that mean for me as a helper? To which she replied, "You aren't here to save anyone."
And I, confused, asked, "Then why do I have these intuitive gifts? Why do I feel called to serve"
And she said the second thing that knocked me sideways - "You aren't here to help in the way you think. You can't hold space for people and 'take their pain away'. They are already being held. What holds the sun and the stars and the moon and beats your heart? You are here to simply BE. Be love. Be present. Be empathetic. Be aware. But fall in love with this human life because it is perfection as it is. Can you love what is?"
So....then I meet with the third woman. A woman who is my mentor and very dear friend. Someone I know came into my life to be a wise guide and support for my growth. We were having a casual conversation about all of these recent revelations and my now major confusion. Is being enough? Can letting people fall on their face really be a good thing? But people are hurting and they don't need to, what of this?
Over the phone, I am asking these questions and she says so calmly the third thing that knocks me sideways - "Can you remember a time in your life of great pain? A time that really was difficult, a time that changed you?
"Of course", I replied. And then she says....
"If you could, would you change it?"
"Actually, no. That experience made me who I am, and in a way I am beyond grateful for it. It taught me compassion, awareness, love, patience, kindness, and self-respect...." I start to ramble, and then she says the zinger -
"What if someone had 'saved' you from something they felt 'you shouldn't have to experience'. Wouldn't they be robbing you of the very thing you needed to become who you're meant to be? Can you love what is?"
So here's where this all leaves me...life doesn't happen TO us. It happens FOR us. Is suffering inevitable? Yes, I believe it is.
For what purpose? To learn. To grow. To understand. To evolve our soul.
Being here is a gift and you chose it. You chose your life, your experience, your people, your teachers, and all that beautiful mess in the middle.
So my practice now, and I invite you to this as well, is this - get curious.
And my purpose? Your purpose? It is just as powerful and just as mission-driven as it always was. But instead of 'helping', or 'healing', I am here when you decide TO get curious. TO look at the labels, assumptions, and lessons of your life and look at what they point to. To support you in loving this splendid experience here.
And to help you ask yourself, "Can I love what is?"
In light and love, Andrea