"I am not your guru" is the title of a documentary circling Netflix right now. It is a behind-the-scenes film of an Anthony Robbins event called Date with Destiny. You can Google it or search Netflix and if you haven't already seen the film I urge you to. There's some controversy over his teaching methods. Is it just shock and awe? Is his power what creates change and are people just submitting without integrating the work? You will have to decide for yourself.
Here's why I am spending this space to write about this - because I can't stop thinking about this movie. Because I have watched it 3 times. Because I am one of the few who TOTALLY agree with what happens here. And I realize this puts me a bit on the fringe...so obviously I had to write about it. :)
Tony Robbins uses NLP. NLP is a method that uses language to interrupt patterns we have embedded in our subconscious. Language is very powerful. Words and labels are how we story information or memories about what happens to us. Those stories become our filters. Those filters tell us what to tune into and what not to. This is how we can stay stuck in the same pattern (like no money, fear of failure, poor relationships, etc.) ongoing for years.
NLP is just a tool. Really, he uses love and his commitment to his mission to help end or alter the path suffering has put someone one. And he will stop at nothing to see this mission through.
Two things fascinated me about this event and the film:
ONE - We are so numb, stuck, apathetic, and lost that 2,500 people spend $5,000 every year to sit in a room for 72 hours to WAKE UP.
TWO - Our typical model for change isn't working. According to Dr. Brene Brown, we are the most "overweight, over-medicated, in debt adult cohort in U.S. history." --> Ok. This flat out pisses me off.
We have the most resources, money in circulation, and awareness today about how to effectively change our lives and still we aren't doing the work. Why?
Why are so many people sleep walking?
Why are we treating depression and trauma as illnesses?
Why are we medicating our problems which are the greatest gifts we have?
Why are we so angry, lost, confused, apathetic, and anxious?
As Tony Robbins says in the film, "We think low-level problems are THE problem because we don't want to deal with the root of our suffering."
So I come away from watching this movie (three times) and what is one to do? Well, sit down and have an entire conversation over breakfast with my wife about change and the art of transformation, obviously. (These are the moments I KNOW I married the right person, thanks babe for getting me.) #wearenerds
The question I asked her was this - What compels one person to shift on a dime and another to die with resentment in their bones?
You know. Small question. And the conversation that unfolded blew me away. I took notes and want to share them here. I don't have THE answer. I can't. It's all part of the human experience. But this I DO know - we are out of time. If we don't start LOVING one another and our home planet....well, I think you can fill in the blank.
So here you have it. Unfiltered notes on the art of transformation...
The difference between interest in change and commitment is taking 100% responsibility for your life. And the decision to do so happens in an instant. Yes, even the things that happen TO you. Can you be a victim? Yes, of course. But when you HOLD ON to your experience you are self-victimizing.
The more willing you are to go into the darkness the more light you let in.
Suffering is human. You will never not suffer. Suffering isn't the problem. Unintegrated and rejected suffering is the problem. And as Tony Robbins says, "Your problem is you think you shouldn't have problems."
You can't have a breakthrough without being triggered. Your "trigger" is the moment your fear comes true. THIS is prime time for a breakthrough.
A breakthrough requires a pattern interrupt. Change requires a commitment to cultivating the new pattern.
We are collectively numb. Don't look to the status quo to teach you about the possibility. They can't.
You have to be hungry to make this change. You have to find what is BIGGER than you.
I want to help everyone, I really do. And I can't. I won't. Not just because of the sheer amount of people on the planet but because not everyone is here to change.
You can't let go of your fears. You have to integrate them.
Problems sculpt our soul. You "problems" are your best teacher. As long as you aren't learning you have a problem.
Events are irrelevant. It's what you DO with that event that matters. And I mean literally, events can create the matter of your life.
YOU are your own guru. YOU are your own change agent. I am a guide. I facilitate an environment where change is possible but I can't change you for you.
Here is what I decided in an instant: I am done muting my beliefs about this work. Because, as I said, we are out of time.
I am not a practitioner. I am not a therapist. I am not a strategist. I am not just a coach. I am a change agent who BELIEVES in her soul that transformation, joy, love, and happiness is your God given right. Period.
And this is what I believe...
This is NOT Strategy and planning
This is not something you can think your way through. Your stories are not calculated, they are created from the need for love and safety. And when they stop serving you and you decide to face them or untangle them it’s the time to come out of your head and into your heart. We go in with radical acceptance and self-discovery. You will take action, but first, you have to meet you where you are.
This is NOT Just coaching
Coaching is a powerful tool and one that I love. Coaching is a way of showing up with someone and using powerful, open-ended questions to inspire new action in them. I use a coaching container but I fully understand that I can’t help you move forward and get you where you want to go without giving space to where you come from, first.
This is NOT Just therapy
I am not a diagnostician because you are not sick or broken. Therapy is an intimate experience of uncovering and healing. I use therapeutic energy to create safety so you can open up and reveal to yourself the shadows that plague your life. But I fully understand that sitting or stewing in your trauma doesn’t release it or integrate it. Your stories need to see the light of day and be heard. They have so much to teach you and we’ll use them to help return you to a state of wholeness.
THIS WORK IS...
An exploration of YOU
This may be the first time in your life you really meet yourself. This may be the first time you connect the dots or see your stories as energy meant to heal, teach, and guide you and not something designed to trap, harm, or keep you stuck. All humans struggle and hold on to their stories unnecessarily. How freeing will it feel when your stories and limiting beliefs are no longer gripping you or when you are not longer gripping them?
Healing occurs when you create a new relationship to the things that happened to you and when you let yourself learn from them without harming yourself or shaming you for them any longer.
Unearthing why you’re here
It’s our soul’s purpose to become complete and we incarnate to learn what we need to create wholeness. Your calling is your gateway to doing this. Your purpose will ignite a kind of passion that is immeasurable and will bring your entire life into immediate alignment and understanding.
Suddenly the things you thought happened to you really happened for you and you are left with a profound amount of self-love and self-acceptance. For most, once integrated, this calling will lead you to teach, give, and serve others in some way.
You cannot get someplace new until you create new, inspired action – action born out of your most authentic self. Movement is what creates the tangible results in your life. But I want you making the right movements inspired by your aligned self. Most of my clients come to me because they want something like money, health, purposeful work, to feel seen, success, etc. They also want joy, excitement, confidence, inspiration, and clarity. These experiences are inevitable with the right action. The things you want are not actually outside of yourself. They are an extension of your beliefs and how you see and experience the world.
Self-love, self-acceptance, and self-worth
All of life is an extension of how you see yourself and how you show up in the world. Imagine what is possible when everywhere you go all you see are more ways to LOVE and accept yourself?
Breakthroughs and NEW roots
Your entire life and the results you’re here to create are grown from your roots. Your beliefs, desires, choices, stories, attachments, and habits are your roots. The results you want to accomplish are your fruits. We focus on planting new roots so you can grow new fruits. This isn’t about doing more but being the person you need to be to accomplish the goal’s you have.
Growth and Confidence
Both within who you are and the things you’re dedicated to is a desire to grow and expand. There is no one plan because everyone’s purpose is a path only they can walk. This is a kind if growth that brings new business, perfect clients, purposeful work, and new opportunities effortlessly to your doorstep. My role in this is to help you recognize it and help you say yes to everything you’ve ever wanted and asked for.
What will you decide in an instant?
In light and love,