Revolution used to be an act of uprising. OK, to be fair, it technically still is. But there is a new trend in the air, and I think it's about letting yourself be seen. As it turns out, being seen isn't always super attractive and doesn't always feel like the thriving choice.
During the retreat, many conversations happened about our work, what we're called to stand for, and why we do what we do, but one theme was apparent - there is none of this if we don't go first. If we don't let ourselves be seen, then none of it matters.
I believe that above my credentials and my skillset, people hire me, read my words, and attend my courses because I am willing to model the very things I am asking others to practice.
Things like self-respect, telling the truth about myself, acknowledging mistakes, believing in something bigger than me, and being patient when I don't "arrive" someplace grand or get it right from the start.
What if the real revolution was to lay down the facade that any of us have it "figured out" and simply show up and be who you are...and love one another for it no matter how much that may inconvenience you.
It isn't another person's job to get it right for you. It isn't their job to fix what scares you or do the work so you don't have to.
We have a trend in this country of assuming "the other" will clean up the mess we've made. Even if we don't know who the other is. This summer I witnessed some sad events, as many of us did. Charlottesville, the negligent burning of the Columbia River Gorge, and my own mother's cancer nearly crippling her.
What do they have in common? These are events that could have been prevented had we all been more willing to be honest about who we are individually and collectively. Events that could have been prevented with trust, a conversation, or a lesson in doing the right thing. Are we always one conversation away from potential devastation? Yes and no.
Things require time. Devastation is really just a tipping point, the moment when something compounds to the point of breaking through, for better or for worse.
If the real revolution is, as Brené Brown says it is, "vulnerability and worthiness as an act of resistance," where do we go from here? What conversations do we need to have not only with one another but with ourselves?
Oh, how I wish we'd start talking, or the silence is going to tip us again. It always does.
One of the reasons I started my Awakened Coach community was to give my fellow conversation starters a place to go to connect about what it really means to hold space for humanity. This is what a coach really does. They take all of who you are into account and don't make it right or wrong, they simply inquire if it's helping you thrive or not.
As I pointed out last week, if we're going to overly sell self-development, let's at least check that it's working. Are we being more honest, open, and loving toward ourselves and others? Are we more resilient and open to taking risks? Can we forgive or forego generations of wounds that many choose to carry in their heart?
Are we thriving?
We don't just need to set new goals, earn more money, or learn how to cook healthier. We need to do the inner work required to sit in dark days and not lose the ground beneath our feet. We need to hear others' models of the world and not point fingers or blame no matter how much easier it feels in the moment.
We need to leave space for our messy humanness because it's the way only we'll ever heal.
So yes, I am with Brené. A revolution may be a bit dramatic but we can't afford to call it anything another than what this is -- the moment we stop assuming that the "other" would pick up the tab for our wounds and start cracking open our own heart.