Play big, beautiful soul
This is an oak seedling. I picked this up on a walk back in the Fall. Don't tell an oak seed what it's destined for, it probably won't believe you. Did you know that this little thing can grow to be 70 feet tall and have a trunk 9 feet in diameter? All from something that can fit in the palm of my hand! I keep this seed on my desk as a reminder to play big and to play full out as I am intended to. Let me explain...
Can you imagine if the oak seed didn't become an oak? Or if a wave didn't fully crest? Or if a blade of grass didn't stretch for the sun? Can you imagine if all the life on this planet stopped itself short of its inherent worthiness out of fear of playing big?
I do believe we are the only species who does this. We are the only species who works very hard at keeping themselves from playing big!
Here is one of my all-time favorite quotes. It stops be in my tracks every time.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
Who are we to play small? To not allow the fullest expression of who you are out for the world to enjoy...is harming you. I know this because I do this too...
I was working with my coach this week and he said, "Write about this. Write about your fear of being bold." He is one of the few people I readily accept challenges from. But he was right. In writing about this maybe I can begin to play full out.
For me, playing big means sharing fully in my knowledge and awareness even when it is difficult to share or say. And it's terrifying. It's terrifying because what if my clients and readers and students think I'm totally nuts? What if they hate me? What if my family is ashamed of my beliefs?
Has this ever happened? No. And yet it doesn't keep these feelings from coming up when I go to share my boldest beliefs and ideas.
Playing big, to me, means taking a chance on myself. And in the process accepting that it might not work out. Then again, it might be the most brilliant moment of my life.
Not because I was smart or on point or had something brilliant to say but because in those moments where I do play big I can feel how this work so isn't about me! It's my ego that is scared. It's my ego that is holding tight to her identity and wants to stay small where it's safe.
While it's true that staying small can in a way keep you safe, playing big, in only the way you can, is why you're here - to fully express the entirety of who you are is the only reason you exist. (That was me playing big just now, eek!)
And I am not going to delete it. Because I believe that statement with every fiber of my being. I am risking that it might not be for everyone. This is really uncomfortable but even as I type this I am thinking how by keeping that sentence in I am honoring my Self.
Playing big honors your SELF. The part of you that is eternal. Your soul. Your spirit. Your divinity. Your source consciousness.
Who are we to hold even an ounce of our genius back? Does this mean you or me or others will get it right 100% of the time? Absolutely. Not.
Sorry. But you will fail. You have to. If you do not fail you do not succeed. Not just because you learn and try it differently the next time. This does happen. Remember in my intro when I shared this insight - To know struggle is also to understand joy.
To know failure is to understand success.
Part of duality is you get both. You get joy and pain. You get love and hate. You get struggle and happiness. So you get failure and you get success. It's in this contrast that we EXPAND. And expansion IS playing big.
This is important to understand because I am not suggesting in going for it and playing full out that you won't fall on your face. (Metaphorically speaking.) The problem is I have played full out and have failed terribly at it. But then this happened...
What do you do when you fall down? You stand up. One precedes the other.
I failed and then I got back up. Because staying down is not the purpose of failure. The purpose of falling is to rise.
And when I got back up things looked different. I saw the errors. I saw the mishaps. I saw where I could take a different step next time.
Most of the beginning of my work with a new client is helping them stand up again. The funny thing is - the things we trip over are rarely us really playing big.
You're more likely to trip on the crack in the sidewalk than the open air when you leap.
We trip ourselves up all the time.
'I'm not ready.' - Trip. 'I'm a fraud.' - Trip. 'I'm not good enough.' - Trip. 'People won't like me.' - Trip. 'What if I suck at this?' - Trip.
I see so many incredible dreamers on the cusp of some great precipice ready to take a big leap. And instead of doing so and then realizing they actually had wings all along....they stall and wait and ponder and sit down.
Don't sit down. Whatever your version of the leap, take it. Play Big.
Love and light, Andrea