Does your calling feel TOO big?
Can't I just answer the mini version? (nope.)
First of all, let's define a calling. This is my definition and it's as simple as I can make it. You will have thousands of callings in your lifetime. Well, maybe more like hundreds. It's not an exact science.
A calling is simply something that asks you to move in a new direction.
If you Google "calling definition" you get two definitions. 1) The loud cries or shouts of a person (hmmm) and 2) A strong urge toward a particular way of life. (Bam! Good job Google.)
A strong urge toward a particular way of life. I love this. I love it because this is, at least for me, exactly how it feels. And when this happens I feel...silly.
For example, I am being called to attend this retreat in Arizona in March with Koelle Simpson. It's a 3-day workshop with horses. I think I've been near a horse once in my life. I've never ridden one. And yet for whatever reason, this event is strong on my mind. (If I go with a friend we get a discount -- anyone interested in joining me? We can be silly together!)
If you look for the linear reason something is showing up in your life, you won't find it. These things, these calls, don't come from the rational mind, which prefers things to happen in a particular order it can predict.
It likes "A" to be followed by a logical "B," then "C," and so on. So when random event/calling "#" shows up we tend to first have that "What the...?" face. Because there's no sense in it. And yet the mere thought of this random call fills you with total completeness.
I am convinced that a call is other-worldly. It comes from the One mind, the One source where we all reside energetically. I am also convinced that a call feels so big because it has the capacity to shake us loose. To rip our grip from the comfortable life we've wrapped around ourselves. It can leave us questioning our reality and not everyone is prepared to do this.
If a calling's birthplace is pure consciousness, from pure potentiality, then a calling is also pointing you toward the purpose of your life, indirectly. I can't know if going to work with horses is for me without experiencing it. I have a deep feeling in my gut that I will discover something through this experience. Maybe that I want to incorporate working with animals. Maybe I will meet someone who is meant to help me. Maybe I will answer one of my soul questions.
And just maybe, I can't guess! In the field of pure potentiality, there are infinite possibilities. Read this again. Infinite.
When you employ faith, you set yourself up for the miraculous. We hear stories all the time of people being in the right place at the right time. This isn't a coincidence; this is a calling at work. What if it weren't random, but directive?
The other side of a calling is the sheer size of these calls. Sometimes they are small calls (going on a retreat, pulling over at a viewpoint, reading a book, etc.) and sometimes they are seismic, "change the course of your life" calls.
There's a part of you that believes if you answer your calling you will be exposed. That somehow just the act of saying yes to this invisible but embedded-in-your-soul act will put you front and center on some cosmic stage, spotlight and all. That if you were to mess up royally on this stage it's somehow infinitely worse than on the small stage where you're currently playing.
You think that if you answer your call you risk looking like a fool, making a mistake, failing, being embarrassed, not being prepared or ready, and worst of all the haunting question could plague you:
"Who am I to do this magnificent and enlightening thing?"
I know because I still get stuck on this question. I get stuck wondering A) How will I ever fully do the things I want to do with my work? and B) Who do I even think I am to imagine I could?!
But I don't dare answer these questions because they are not born from the same place as my calling. They are born from fear. They are born from that part of me that likes a linear path and can't see the whole staircase when my calling comes knocking on my door.
Luckily my higher-self chimes in and reminds me: Who do you think you are not to answer this call?
I don't have a magic answer for how to contend with the fear that floods in when we dare to be more than we currently are, or when we dare to move toward what beckons us. I know for me I couldn't wait any longer for the fear to subside before leaping. My first real call was to move my coaching work into a spiritual realm, something that still scares me.
But I frickin' LOVE it.
Chances are, your calling even when answered will sound something like this. Even when it is the scariest thing you've ever done, you will finally be home.