My 3-Step Process to Wholly Being Yourself
When I was a little girl my parents only had two rules:
1) Treat all people with love, kindness, and compassion, and
2) Follow your bliss
The first rule always seemed obvious to me and still does.
The second rule, while it felt wonderful as a child to hear, threw me for a loop.
Maybe they advocated for this rule because the entire works of Joseph Campbell sat on our bookshelves, or because my parents just wanted their kids to live lives that mattered. Either way, there was no mistaking how big of a deal it was to adhere to this second rule.
There was just one teensy problem: When you actually do it and follow the breadcrumbs of your life that, for whatever unexplainable reason, just light you up, something different than expected comes along for the ride.
I thought it would be all unicorns and rainbows because the instruction had the word "bliss" in it. But the path quickly filled with doubt and questioning myself.
It seemed like the more I loved my path, the less sure I was I belonged on it.
While my path looked simple - I just wanted to help people and effect positive change in the world - it was riddled with questions and statements like:
> "Who am I to do something that makes me so happy?"
> "How can I think it's really this easy?"
> "Who is going to pay me to do something I would happily give away?"
> "There are so many brilliant helpers already on this path; there isn't room for me too."
And my personal favorite, the one that knew just how to halt me in my tracks...
"You aren't good enough to follow your bliss."
These weren't things people were saying to me. In fact, everyone around me was like those marathon cheerleaders. You know the people who stand on the sidelines holding up neon signs to keep you from stopping? Those were my people!
Instead, these were things my subconscious was delivering up on a silver platter.
In all my years doing this work, I found one comfort that felt like a salve to the sting my personal insults were creating - I am not alone.
I have yet to have a single conversation with a person who didn't have these same questions. It makes me wonder if it's part of the "follow your bliss" programming? This human trait is not unique to me or you. But it IS yours to contend with.
Finally, I found a simple solution that seemed to quiet the noise coming from within and allowed me to step forward and actually follow the breadcrumbs that lit me up.
Now don't confuse simple with easy. What I am about to share couldn't be simpler, but it also requires absolute dedication on your part because that part of you that isn't so sure you're cut out for your dreams can be quite crafty.
She knows just what to sling your way to slow you down. She isn't trying to sabotage you or harm you. She only wants one thing for you - to be safe.
And I found the safest thing for me to do was -
Told you, simple. But certainly, not easy.
I know what you're thinking, "Andrea, of course I am myself! How can I be anyone else?" And I would agree with you - you are always you.
Except what inevitably happens is we see how everyone else is following their bliss and before you know it, you've abandoned what makes you you for what you believe are greener pastures.
You see something trendy on Instagram.
You listen to a Ted Talk by someone who's "made it."
You attend a business conference.
You follow someone's "perfect" formula for success...
And then all that magical goodness that is you is nowhere in sight. I did this too.
The first few years in my work as a life coach, I did what everyone else appeared to be doing. I tried to be goal-oriented, to lead with strategies, and I chipped away at my work until it was a predictable formula.
I chipped away so much that I didn't recognize myself anymore. My brand, my messaging, even the work itself was all some version of someone else and I got totally lost.
Honestly, I can't remember the exact turning point because there were several of them, but I came face-to-face with this truth, that I was concealing my magic, and I took responsibility for hiding the parts of my work I truly love.
> Open-ended exploration.
> Not having a roadmap but creating one as we go.
> Holding safe space while people explore their wildest dreams and greatest fears.
> And having some of the richest conversations about the meaning ofyour life.
You can't strategize any of this and it isn't predictable. It's actually wildly creative. When I trusted that this way, my way, of showing up was plenty, I saw results with my coaching I couldn't have dreamed of.
...I've watched as people heal stories that have been plaguing them for years, when no amount of therapy or medication could help.
...I've seen people change their relationship to money in a moment and have years of stress melt away.
...I've seen entrepreneurs finally feel like enough after years of hustling and struggling to be successful, and watch as they let themselves be seen and then finally experience the success they were pining for.
...I've supported my fellow coaches and healers as they embody their gifts as empaths and no longer allow the outside world convince them they're too sensitive and must stay small.
...I've watched people break old habits and patterns that instantly mend relationships and allow them to let go of anger and resentment.
How do I do this? My 3 Steps:
1. Say Yes
Before you can do anything in the direction of what calls you, you have to say yes to it. You have to trust your path AND fully commit to it. Tucked inside of you is a message and a purpose that is tugging at you big time, am I right?
2. Be Yourself
Whatever you piled on over the years - old identities, other people's idea of success, limiting beliefs about yourself - shed these. We don't have to go in search of your authentic self, we only have to strip away what isn't authentic to you.
3. Change more lives by being yourself
You're a giver; you keep hope alive in those lives you change, and you do so by being your most authentic self. I don't need to remind you that there is something big at stake.Maybe you're headed in a direction you never predicted but the world is waiting. This I know...
Today I coach and support a community of people near and far who are following their bliss, answering their calling, rewriting their stories, and helping to change more lives, from the inside out.
Are you next?