S.O.S. My calling won't leave me alone.
Believe it or not, not everyone hears their calling. Some hear it in faint whispers, some in assertive nudges, some have no idea what a calling is, some have been hearing it their whole life and never engaged with it...and then there are the rare ones. The ones who hear it, turn toward it and let it crack them open. They are the "crazy" ones.
If you look up the word crazy, you'll see: 1) Mentally deranged in a wild way or 2) Extremely enthusiastic. This sounds about right. To hear your calling, answer it, and let it guide you may appear nuts from the outside.
A calling is often irrational, and will pull you in the exact opposite direction you are living your life. It will ask you to question what you think is real and it will most certainly beckon you to defend it when things go awry, which they will. Because your calling is, after all, already part of you.
And once you pay it any attention, watch out. That calling will only get louder, more obnoxious, more irritating, and show up everywhere. What is it exactly? I don't know. Not in any tangible sense. I can't point to it or bottle it up. You can't order yours online from Amazon.com and you can't have it overnighted when you're ready to deal with it. So why is it so imperative that you answer this thing I can't point to?
Why else do you think you're here? You're not just taking up space, you know. Your calling won't be easy or pain-free. It will ask you to uncover anything and everything you've spent your life burying deep down or numbing out. Your calling can feel like a shock or a wake-up call. Either way, it isn't exactly subtle.
So much of what passes for spirituality today is about positivity, happiness, and affirmation for more positivity or happiness which ignores an entire half of life. It is in the contrast of pain that we learn compassion. Sometimes we need to be uncomfortable; to come up against our discomfort is to enter a new landscape with so much access to our deeper truth and deeper contribution. Your calling is the path to this.
I know, with this lovely description is it any wonder you aren't running out to actualize your calling this very moment? But here's the thing - what alternative do you have? What's a life without meaning? Without feeling like you really matter? What happens to those who ignore their calling, deny their calling, or pretend it isn't real? Again, I don't know.
Before I answered my calling, there was life with motion but it didn't move me. My calling has moved me to engage with life like an artist who is painting and being painted at the same time. Above all else, I feel liberated. Liberated to create and be created, the most sacred act.
Your calling is your reminder why you're here. Why did you choose this life? Why did you choose this family or this home? Why did you choose these circumstances or these moments of pain?
A calling isn't some place you arrive; it's the pathway to take you back to yourself, your whole self. So no, it can't leave you alone once acknowledged because once made aware, your calling is like receiving your orders from the universe. Until then, we're really just buying time.
Believe it or not, ignoring your calling is more painful than letting it in. And once in, it's best to let go. It's like letting a dam crack open. The sheer force will run its course -- let it. Whatever it takes down was not very strong to begin with. And as that water churns and washes over the landscape of your life you'll wake up. You'll fully wake up and there will come a day and you'll say, "Oh. I get it now." And you'll get back to creating your life. Your simple, meaningful, call-filled life.