How badly do you want it?
I've come to the conclusion that committing to your path is not for the faint of heart.
At the beginning, I tried to coach everybody. I wanted my work to be accessible to everyone. This is something I hear often with new coaches – but I always believed everyone was ready to embark on their journey. I think I was wrong.
I had a mentor once who said no one needed coaching. And he is right. What he meant was that coaching is a choice to self-actualize. And we don't need to self-actualize to survive.
Most of the people on this planet will spend thousands of lifetimes attempting to get there and never quite make it.
I don't say this to challenge you but to remind you that self-actualization is not self-evident. There is no accidental self-actualization or "luck" that one person gets there while another doesn't.
My mentor also said, "Nor is [coaching] for those who are not 100% serious and committed to their success and happiness – they define those words in their lives."
Really brilliant coaching will stretch you, challenge you, push you (gently and sometimes not gently), and help you see that in order to be the most glorious version of your dreams, you have to be willing to do what 99.9% of people are unwilling to do – question everything. And let go.
I am sorry to say that most people are not committed to their success and happiness. Or they say they are, until they have to invest money in themselves. Invest time. Question their habits. Be uncomfortable. Often, they decide that being unhappy, although awful, is less risky. And most will decide this before they give themselves a chance to try otherwise.
Most people want to hold on to what they know and change at the same time. They want to take their stories with them. They want to be right.
They aren't willing to take risks or lose anything.
They want the experience to be totally quantified in advance.
They aren't willing to let their ego-self die. But what's worse is they don't think they need to in order to change.
You can't go up and stay where you are at the same time. I have a big vision of what's possible here on Earth, and I see that in order to have a chance at succeeding with this vision, I have to be unapologetic about my work. And that means accepting that this isn't for everyone.
I still think everyone could use coaching. I still believe the process is powerful for just about anyone. But in my experience, really brilliant coaching should not be used on just anyone.
Read books. Journal. Ask big questions. Look within. But don't enter coaching until you are ready to be cracked open – because it will do just that.
It asks you to step into a version of you that you've maybe only ever thought about or doodled on a piece of paper. Because to ask big and powerful questions of your life and then not answer them or lean into them is a waste of a big, beautiful question.
Don't get me wrong. Coaching isn't for just taking action. In fact, I believe the majority of strategy building and planning done in coaching is a waste of time, because to take your being and expect action to outrun your beliefs is crazy.
Here’s what I see in those of you who were built for coaching: you're a risk taker.
You have a big vision.
You act before you think (sometimes this is good, sometimes less so).
You don't play a wishing game.
You would move mountains.
And my favorite attribute – even when you are riddled with doubt, fear, and uncertainty, you lean in. Successful people are no less afraid than unsuccessful people; they are simply acting in honor of their vision.
And so, in honor of your vision, I have a big request for you.
You see, these people I just outlined above are also pretty fiery. They are inspired, passionate, on the fringe, maybe even a little weird in their thinking, and they are bold, audacious, and unapologetic.
They are like a big bonfire, burning high and hot. Here's the problem in coaching fiery people – most of you go in search of how to do and have more, which is like taking gallons of gasoline and drenching your fire. You’ll only burn hotter, which makes it almost impossible to come near.
What if you attempted to BE?
Imagine what's possible if you took that fire into the heart and soul. If you went within. You would become the brightest beacon of light beckoning people to come close and see what you see.
There is an allowance that we as conscious leaders and visionaries don’t have enough of, and that is the entire purpose of my work.
My intention for this experience is to give heart-centered leaders with massive vision a place to go within. We spend 99.9% of our time on the fringe, and we have to – this is why we’re visionaries; we have to see what others don’t have the capacity to see yet.
But to have that one place where we come together, connect, be seen, be vulnerable, and dive into what makes up our heart and humanity is a gift that gives back to us, yes, but also the people we serve.
My vision is to help the world return to its natural state of grace and love. The only way to accomplish this is to heal yourself. This is an inner journey, a pilgrimage for the soul.