I don't know if I'm supposed to admit this...
But I am a bit of a rebel, so why not. I . Am. Exhausted. These past few months in my business have been radical. There's been growth and opportunities beyond my imagination. I am incredibly grateful for all of it. And there are two sides to every coin.
I am also totally exhausted. I promised myself I would slow down...6 weeks ago. Why I am tired doesn't really bother me. It's pretty obvious. I am exerting more energy than I am replenishing. The why behind that statement does interest me. A lot.
Why do we push past where we know we should stop? Why do we break promises to ourselves? How come when we get where we wanted to go it doesn't always feel like it's enough? And the story that is really getting me...how come I feel guilty taking some time to rest and renew?
The story I'm telling myself is because I don't want to take this magical thing called purpose for granted - ever. And if I get really honest with myself my fear is that if I stop pushing then my business will somehow, overnight, dry up and I'll have to start all over again.
Is this true? No! But our emotions don't work in 'truth' - they work in interpretation and protection. Translation: our emotional body thinks the 'worst case - never going to happen scenario' is REAL.
So now what? It's a bit of a crossroad. I know I need to just BE for a bit. Enjoy what I've created and LOVE the work that's here, now. And it's like I have this one stubborn pinky that won't let go of the cliffside. It thinks I'm failing if I let go and BE for awhile.
Between my speaking on Sunday and today I did ONE thing - I called in my fellow story-wranglers. My friends, coaches, and my wife to reflect back a better truth. One that allowed me to grow and CHILL OUT at the same time.
And here's what we came to - when we climb a mountain we have to get acclimated. We have to stop part way, set up a base camp, and literally catch our breath. So this is what I am giving myself permission to do.
This doesn't change anything for my business except my perception of my business. And frankly, that changes everything.
This means I can rest. And serve. And create. And grow. Or do absolutely nothing if I choose. Because I am acclimating. And taking a much-needed breath.
I don't share this to just tell a story.
I share this because we all have stories that are keeping us from actually nourishing ourselves. Stories that are like weeds in our life. UN-truths that are worth having a look at and getting rid of.
Call in your troops if you have to. Like Brene Brown reminds me, "Our stories can not survive being shared and talked about." Our stories thrive on staying in the dark.
Have you ever had that experience of saying the thing you were terrified to admit and then immediately felt SO much better?
I invited the women at the event to answer these three questions and I want to gift them to you as well -
What is the story I am telling myself? Is it true? What story do I wish to write instead?
The irony was that this event was all about what it means to be empowered and as I stood on that stage it hit me - to me, being empowered means loving what is, in this very moment, and allowing it to be enough.
I could wrap my exhaustion around me as proof that I am working so hard for my business...or proof that I am actually hurting my business. The choice is totally up to me. The difference is, one is freedom and one is not. One honors a need and one does not.
In light and love, Andrea