Coaching is not for everyone...
Here we go...another edge I know I HAVE to lean into. And it goes a little something like this...
Really brilliant coaching is not for the faint of heart.
It just isn't.
And truth be told, I felt bad about this which is why I've tried to coach everybody. Not literally everybody because that is just not possible. But I wanted my work to be accessible to everyone. And this is something I hear a TON of with new coaches - they want to be affordable, accessible, reasonable...but what they're really saying is I don't trust myself to be the boldest, most badass version of my work.
Because if they were, they would also find that is isn't for everyone.
I had a mentor once who said no one needed coaching. And he is right. What he meant was that coaching is a choice to self-actualize. And we don't need to self-actualize to survive. Most of the people on this planet will spend thousands of lifetimes attempting to get there and never quite make it.
He also said this, "Nor is it [coaching] for those who are not 100% serious and committed to their success and happiness (however they define those words in their lives)."
Really brilliant coaching will stretch you, challenge you, push you (gently and sometimes not gently), and help you see that in order to BE the most glorious version of your dreams you have to be willing to do what 99.9% of people are unwilling to do - question everything. And let go.
I am sorry to say that most people are not committed to their success and happiness. Or they are until they have to...
Invest money in themselves. Invest time in themselves. Question their habits. Be uncomfortable. Or worse - decide that being unhappy, although awful, is less risky.
Most people want to hold on to what they know and change at the same time. They want to take their stories with them. They want to be right. They aren't willing to take risks or lose anything. They want the experience to be totally quantified in advance. They aren't willing to let their ego-self die. But what's worse is they don't think they need to in order to change. This is what I call spinning your wheels.
You can't go up and stay where you are at the same time.
This past weekend I invited the challenge and asked to be cracked up. I have a big vision of what's possible here on Earth and I see now that in order to remotely have a chance at succeeding with this vision I have to be unapologetic about my work. (ahhh!!!) And this means accepting this isn't for everyone...
I still think everyone could use coaching. I still believe the process is powerful for just about anyone. But in my experience really brilliant coaching should not be used on just anyone.
Read books. Journal. Ask big questions. Look within. But don't enter coaching until you are ready to be cracked open.
- Here's why -
Because it will crack you open! It asks you to step into a version of you that you've maybe only every thought about or doodled on a piece of paper. Because to ask BIG and POWERFUL questions of your life and to not answer them or lean into them...is a waste of a big, beautiful question.
I can't believe I just said that....don't delete it...keep it there...
Don't get me wrong. Coaching isn't for just taking action. In fact, I believe the majority of strategy building and planning done in coaching is a waste of time. (oh geez, I can't believe I am typing this). It's a waste because to take your BEING and expect action to out-run your beliefs is....crazy making.
And for those of you who coaching was BUILT for - Here is what I see in you...
You're a risk taker. You have BIG vision. You're gutsy.You act before you think (sometimes this is good, sometimes not) You don't play a wishing game. You would move mountains if invited to do so.
And my favorite - even when you are riddled with doubt, fear, and uncertainty you lean in anyways. Successful people are no less afraid than unsuccessful people. They don't feel the fear and do it anyways.
They aren't reaching through fear. They are acting in honor of their vision. Period.
And so in honor of YOUR vision, I have a BIG request for you.
You see, these people I just outlined above are also pretty fiery. They are INSPIRED, PASSIONATE, ON THE FRINGE, maybe even a lot WEIRD in their thinking, and they are BOLD, AUDACIOUS, and UNAPOLOGETIC.
They are like a big bonfire. They burn high and hot. Here's the problem in coaching fiery peeps - most of you go in search of how to DO more and HAVE more which is like taking gallons of gasoline and drenching your fire! You only burn hotter which makes it almost impossible to come near.
What if you attempted to BE?
Imagine what's possible if you took that FIRE into the heart and soul. If you went within. You would become the brightest beacon of light beckoning people to come close and see what you see.
And for you - I leave you with this.
There is an allowance that we as conscious leaders and visionaries don’t have enough of and that is the entire purpose of my work.
My intention for this experience is to give badass leaders with massive vision for what’s possible for our world a place to go within. We spend 99.9% of our time on the fringe and we have to, this is why we’re visionaries, we have to see what others don’t have the capacity to see just yet.
But to have that one place where we come together, connect, be seen, be vulnerable, and dive into what makes up our heart and humanity is a gift that gives back to us, yes, but also the people we serve.
My vision is to help the world return to its natural state of grace and love. The ONLY way to accomplish this...is to heal yourself. To take what lights your fire and turn that passion into a beacon of light for other's to follow. This is an inner journey and a pilgrimage for the soul.
In light and love,