For the past two weeks, members of our free community have taken part in an "unreasonable requests" challenge. These are requests that feel unreasonable because the person we are making the request of has no reason to say yes. The challenge? 30 unreasonable requests in 30 days. If you want to join us, use this link.
I have been doing this for the past six weeks now. One of my bold asks was to take a client and someone I deeply admire to a fancy lunch. We ate yummy food, drank wine, and she gave me a challenge. An ask of myself — to write an article that stretched me. Well, challenge accepted.
It's no secret I have a pretty strong opinion about coaching, as I should. I've been a professional coach since 2010 and if I had a punch card with 10 punches, one for every coaching conversation, then I would have filled 500 punch cards by now.
There was certainly a time when you couldn't have paid me to write what I am about to share because I was more interested in pleasing than serving, being liked than being honest, and being passive than being clear.
But I was having lunch with this hip chick a couple of weeks ago — she isn't afraid to speak her truth, something I've admired about her from the day we met.
We got onto the topic of coaching which was equal parts ranting and raving when she said, "You know how everyone writes those articles about why you should hire a coach? What if you did the OPPOSITE?"
And because I love a challenge, here we are.
What qualifies me to tell you why you should fire your coach? The very work that I myself am paid to do? Nothing. No, really. No one can tell you what is best for you. Not even your coach!
However, I am very passionate about coaching. You might put me on the obsessive spectrum right over there was fanaticism except unlike the definition, I have not forgotten my aim.
Just for kicks the other day I did a quick search on the statistics of coaching. Even I was shocked.
Did you know that the average return on investment for working with a coach is 500%? That means if you pay $500 your return is $2,500.
Did you also know that people who invest in coaching with a goal in mind are 86% MORE likely to accomplish it than those who don't use a coach?
So if it's so great, why do I want you to fire your coach? Well, as Rich Litvin says, "The coaching profession has a problem that is two-fold: there is a low bar for entry and a high bar for success."
And that high bar for success is too often passed on to the wrong person — you, the client.
Let me explain.
Coaching is simple in theory: help people achieve their dreams by way of goals, commitments, and accountability by also removing any and all blocks or upper limits that get in the way.
Here's where most coaches go wrong — they assume that if a client is motivated or excited enough they will just make shit happen.
They coach the part of you that set your goals. But, did you know that the part of you that sets a goal is not in charge of achieving it? This makes EFFECTIVE coaching NOT simple.
5 Reasons You Should Fire Your Coach:
1. Your coach is not trained.
This is a controversial topic but it shouldn't be. In NO profession is it acceptable to enter without skills or training, yet somehow the coaching industry seems to think it is exempt from this principle.
Not only this, it is the MOST accessible training to find. Most are done via distance learning, geared for adults who are already working full time and don't require more than a few months to complete. If you've long thought about a coach certification then we need to talk.
2. Your coach only prescribes you action steps and strategic plans.
I am all for action but not in lieu of deep work. If a new plan was all it took to change your behavior which changes your actions which changes your life then we would not be the most depressed or in debt adult cohort in US history. Plans are cheap because they bypass YOU.
Think of it this way: if you are NOT a coffee drinker and I asked you to drink 4 cups of coffee today it would cause mental strain and physical exhaustion for the simple fact that you would have to effort your way to doing something that goes against how you see yourself. Then again, if you are a coffee drinker and I asked you to do the same, you'd be very buzzed at the end, but it wouldn't have caused a lot of strain to do the action because it's how you see yourself.
In short, action plans cannot outperform your identity. And a coach who isn't trained in this I wouldn't get near.
3. Your coach doesn't offer an extensive pre-conversation before asking for an investment.
If your coach is unable to demonstrate in advance why you should hire them, don't. If a coach doesn't offer MORE than an hour to have a real experience of their work, I would be cautious.
A coach who only demonstrates their best AFTER you hire them is someone who keeps their cards close. Also, if you feel pressure or do not enjoy the enrollment process, run. Will it stretch you? Yes. But that stretch should feel invigorating, not threatening.
4. Your coach doesn't have a coach.
I am shocked at how many professional coaches have never worked with a coach. How can we properly represent the power in this work if we ourselves are not also experiencing it? You are allowed to ask your coach, "Who is your coach?"
5. Your coach isn't successful at the thing they coach.
If your coach is niched as a money coach but is in a ton of debt...if your coach is a relationship and marriage coach but single...if your coach is a health coach who is not healthy...if your coach is a business coach whose business is not successful...
This should be obvious but I have seen this far too often. Are we all works in progress? Yes. But we have to be honest about where we are. I would personally fire a coach who was not actively demonstrating in their own life or business the very results I hired them to achieve.
I know these may be controversial. But the thing is, I am so proud of this industry and the good work we are doing that I can't sit back and watch the people I LOVE to serve be lost to a lack of integrity in the very people they've invested their time, energy, and money with.
I stand behind my coaching 1,000%. And I genuinely hope your coach does too. However, if you've never experienced the power in working with a coach — why don't you try it on?
Will you gift me 90 minutes of your time to show you what you're capable of? Click the link below to choose your time & date.
Before you click that link and book time with me, I want you to answer these questions for yourself:
Why seek a coach now? What was/is the tipping point that brought you to this place?
What do you need to come out of this conversation either knowing or remembering about yourself?
What is the cost of not doing this work now?
Who will be affected by you doing this work? Think of the ripple effect beyond what you can see.
What holds you back? What compels you to move forward?
Book a 90-Minute Problem Solving & Possibility Creating Coaching Experience with me.
If after this session you don't wish to continue coaching that's OK! If you do, then we'll discuss what this looks like. These sessions are currently booked 1–2 months in advance.