a few lessons in body confidence
By nature I am an avid observer - I like to observe people and their body language. What is being said, but more often what is not being said but is written all over someone's demeanor. As a life coach I spend my days observing with my whole body by listening and hearing what my client's are really telling me. I get information from all sorts of places - words, body language, behavior, deflections, and my own intuition. I know within minutes of a new client sitting across from me where the presenting desire is stemming from. One of those themes I can read to the bottom of almost instantly is ... body confidence.
From what I know from my own experience, read, and studied it is not simply a matter of "feeling good about how we look in the mirror". The scope is much bigger - body confidence encompasses someone's ability to set boundaries, be impeccable with her words, live from a place of personal purpose, and have the courage to be who she is irregardless of any other's opinions. A body confidant woman will be vulnerable for the sake of being true to who she is. Don't you wish it were just about your body? I sure used to. I still have my moments of body confident weakness where I think, "maybe if I just lost 5 more pounds." Are you surprised?
Seeking out a a way to lose weight and feel intrinsically better about the self can be helpful, but it won't end there, and for some it won't even begin there. When I embarked on my own personal weight loss journey I discovered something pretty amazing - losing the weight meant I no longer had this ongoing distraction in my day and suddenly I had space and energy to devote to me. Distractions like - how can I wear something a certain way to cover me up? How can I try clothes on without looking in a mirror? How I can deflect my insecurity with humor? How will I make my closet work for me today?
I lost weight so I could love me but on the flip side I am keeping the weight off because for the first in my adult life I want to honor other attributes - courage, passion, power, creativity, and happiness. Part of honoring these is taking care of me. It stopped being about "weight loss" and started being about self-love by living through purpose, mindful eating and moving, honoring my strengths, and not being afraid to ask for help when I want it.
When a woman comes to me and says, "I want to lose this weight", I always ask, "What is it you expect to find on the other side?" and second, "Who do you need to be in order to lose weight and live the life you desire?" When we don't love who we are it is hard for our body & mind to do as we ask. Often loving ourselves doesn't come out so kindly and is instead some version of, "I will love me when..." That is conditional. What will it take for you to see how amazing you are today? Giving yourself credit for who you already are will help turn the motivation from not making a change to making one.
It's not "I will be confident and beautiful when I lose weight", rather it is, "I want to take care of myself because I am confident and beautiful." I could write about this for days, but for the sake of just chipping the tip these are a few of my thoughts.