365 days of awakening
I've shared about my Personal Wake-Up Call which happened last June. But this experience wasn't the beginning of what would be a very spiritual awakening. It actually all started one year ago... January 8th, 2014 was nothing out of the ordinary.
My life was pretty routine and this day started no different.
I got up with the sun, went downstairs, poured a cup of coffee, opened my journal, and started to write.
But something came through my pen that morning which took my by total surprise.
Looking at this entry now I see that it doesn’t even look like my handwriting. It’s rushed and quickly jotted down.
A single question came through my pen that, although I didn’t know it then, would dramatically change my life.
The question was this, “Are we infinite?”
The question felt like a crack inside my gut. Like something was opening and all that was there was light. It wasn’t this profound in the moment but looking back on it this is how it felt.
I'd never asked such a question before.
I’d never even contemplated things like this before.
Five days later I would have a dream and the phrase, “Higher Ground” would come to me. I woke up knowing that higher ground is a spiritual course for personal compassion.
I started asking more questions such as:
“Is compassion the best antidote to personal suffering?”
“Is an awakened humanness our birth right?”
“Will you accept that which you do not understand?”
“What is the purpose of enlightenment?”
“Is liberation ‘not-being?”
“What is consciousness?”
Then, most randomly, my brother texted me about 2 weeks later asking if I felt lost. I had reached out to my father about this interrupt in my reality, so I thought maybe the two of them had connected.
They had not.
The next 365 days would be a fascinating journey of self-discovery, synchronicity, and profound love. In essence I now believe what happened to me that day was my “journey’s calling” and God tapping me on my shoulder.
Now let me back up for a second.
I grew up atheist. Not even agnostic. Flat out atheist.
I believed that God was an invention, designed to help people deal with scary questions about the purpose of life.
The only demonstration I thought I had seen of God was through religion - and for the most part the use of religion to keep people separate. To make people right or wrong. I couldn’t see the purpose of a God if God were about suffering.
I now know that I see God everyday through acts and intentions of love and compassion.
Being a proud atheist woman I didn’t find need for words like faith, prayer, or even belief. Today I can not imagine not using these words to describe the wonder of life.
I do not judge my path for it’s exactly the path I was meant to take.
These past 365 days have been filled with some unexplainable events. But from my new vantage point I don’t feel the need to find explanation.
Butterflies began to follow me and still do. Blue ones, specifically. They show up in the dead of winter even. They are on cards, in paintings, and on the covers of books.
The butterfly is quite literally about trusting in uncertainty. In order to become who we are we have to relinquish who we know to be.
I experienced two rather intense challenges. The first brought me back into my ego and away from love.
The second brought me out of ego and into total love and acceptance.
As is true of all journey’s there will be challenges to help you expand what you know of yourself. These were 6 months apart. But in exact due time I believe.
The more I opened myself to gifts I’ve had as a child I started to see things much more clearly. I have a very heightened intuition. I think I was born with it because I now think it’s a piece of my soul in this human body.
My intuition has moved to new places the more connected I feel to spirit the more connected I am to those I help.
Other’s pain will latch on to me. Symptoms that are not mine will appear. Taking someone’s pain will not help them heal but it keeps me stay tuned in with their call for help.
Words, phrases, and imagery will spontaneously appear during my sessions. I can use my intuition as a messenger when it helps the person before me heal or move forward.
Lastly this year has brought me full circle in my work.
I have been drawn to the healing arts since I was a child. I always believed it was because I have fond memories of going to New Age bookstores with my mom and playing with her crystals, or because I grew up discussing Zen Buddhism with my father.
I just thought my intuition was passed down to me. That it’s because I’m a woman or because I’m sensitive.
Here comes my really gutsy leap – I now believe I asked to come to Earth to help it heal. I felt there was some good I could leave, some message I could impart, and some grace I could teach.
My intuition is a gift but more so it’s a tool I came here with to help me do this work.
One year ago I was just a girl helping to run a small business with my partner. Not discontent but not fulfilled either.
Today I am a healer and walking my own path. I am so in love with what life is.
It is, in my opinion, a miracle.
So when I utter these words know they come from the essence of who we all are, pure love and pure light.
This is my story. I'm go between making sense and just smiling at its unfolding. Have you ever experienced such an interrupt in your reality that changed you forever? I would love to hear about it.
In love and light,