21 Secrets to Powerful Coaching
When I started to teach coaches I was hesitant. Would I be able to truly convey the power and joy in this art? Would the process of becoming a coach be as wonderful for my students as it's been for me? Then I just decided that no matter what my students got from their own pursuit, it would be just as incredible for me as it is when I coach my clients.
And I was not wrong. I am about to embark on my third cohort in my 200-hour master coach training program. We spend 6 months exploring this funny world of coaching from all angles. As I've been interviewing new students and welcoming them into this cohort I started to think about this: why is coaching something I am such an advocate of?
I took to my journal and found myself writing out 21 secrets of powerful coaching. This is the stuff that isn't readily seen but is going on behind the scenes. These 21 secrets are what happens inside this work — but are also why I can't help but believe in it so wholeheartedly.
If you've ever dreamt of adding masterful life coaching to your repertoire, join me for my next cohort of Awaken Your Life.
Coaching has changed my life on more than one occasion. It isn't the coach who's changed my life; it's the magic of coaching and what happens inside a powerful conversation.
Coaching is just a vehicle. But where do you want it to take you?
I've had conversations that have delivered potent questions to the forefront of my life, bringing more and more awareness to how I CREATE my life. This is one of the best-kept secrets of those who work with a coach. You draw to you the very experiences that uphold your beliefs, and therein lies the greatest opportunity of the human experience: you are not beholden to where you are today.
If I've learned anything as a coach and inside this work for almost a decade it's this — life is a wondrous and sacred gift. Not easy. Not simple. Not overly complex either. But part of that gift is choosing to create what you want and in doing so you contribute to the whole of the universe. You are consciousness expanding.
I am sharing these 21 secrets with you because I don't want you half-heartedly living and creating your own life. With each secret is a powerful question. The questions can't do anything for your life if not asked and answered. Reading them isn't enough. Take one to your journal. Ask a friend to ask you one and then ask them to really listen in detail.
21 Secrets of Powerful Coaching
1. The 30,000-foot Perspective
Powerful coaching hangs out at 30,000ft. and has access to your WHOLE life, not just the micro-moments where you get lost or stuck. From up there, we can see the whole terrain and how everything affects everything.
Question: If I looked at my life from 30,000 feet, what kind of awe would I see?
2. We play in pure potential
Powerful coaching is about turning potential into possibility. You are literally a potential machine and your brain is creating your reality all day long. But what if you wanted to change your reality?
Question: What impossible dream do I most want to bring to life during this lifetime?
3. I am not beholden to your limiting beliefs
Powerful coaching doesn't need to buy into your limited self. We love on this part of you and get to know why it was created, but we are not attached to it as you might be.
Question: What limiting beliefs or decisions do I continue to live through?
4. I listen for what isn't being said
Powerful coaching listens for what is NOT being said. The thing beneath the thing where the truth hangs out. It listens for the root of the problem and doesn't focus on what that problem has created in your life because by listening we can uncreate it.
Question: What is REALLY going on?
5. Limitations need not apply
Powerful coaching doesn't stop at your upper limits because it is my job to help you transcend them. Upper limits are all the places in your life you habitually hold back. What if you didn't have to anymore?
Question: What are all the places in my life I habitually hold back?
6. It only appears like magic, but it's science
Powerful coaching is not magic. There is a science to how you are wired and why you do what you do. The best part is, we don't need to dissect all your stories to change your life. We just have to understand the benefit of your current results and change your relationship to the benefit.
Question: If I could change anything in my life, it would be...
7. My whole job is your success
Powerful coaching is 100% geared at your success. Period. No exceptions.
Question: When is the last time I had someone in my life whose sole focus was my success?
8. It can make you question "reality"
Powerful coaching will make you question your reality. Not in a Matrix kind of way, but you'll see that reality is malleable. You are re-creating your current life every day whether you are aware of it or not.
Question: If I could re-create my life, what would I build?
9. You are not alone in your quest
Powerful coaching comes along for the whole ride. Think of it like having a tour guide to your dreams, except when the tour is done, you get to move it.
Question: How would it feel to have someone come along for the ride with me?
10. The coaching always works
Powerful coaching always works. But you have to let it.
Question: What if I could be guaranteed what I want to create in my life?
11. Great coaching creates miracles (or does it?)
Powerful coaching appears to create miracles. But it's a mirage. You are capable of tremendous things, so when you start to achieve them your first instinct might be to call it a miracle. A miracle is simply something we don't understand. But you don't need to "get" it to benefit from it.
Question: Where in my life could I use a miracle?
12. You literally achieve more with a witness
Powerful coaching is what we call "witness accountability." Studies show we accomplish more when we think someone who matters to us is watching.
Question: What changes would I commit to if someone I admired were keeping me accountable?
13. You can't fail at it
Powerful coaching isn't graded. There is no pass or fail. See #10.
Question: If I couldn't fail at my life, what kind of permission would that be?
14. It requires making unreasonable requests of yourself
Powerful coaching demonstrates to you that you are capable of more, but you will have to ask more of yourself first.
Question: Where do I not want to hold back anymore?
15. People will ask, "What's different?"
Powerful coaching changes you. It can create more positivity, joy, ease, and grace in your life. It will radiate from you because you will be astounding yourself every day. Get ready, people will notice.
Question: What do I want people to notice is different in me?
16. Successful people have coaches
Powerful coaching is for successful people and people who want to be successful. Successful at what? Well, that part is up to you.
Question: What do I really, really, really want to achieve?
17. You stop habitually quitting in the same places
Powerful coaching keeps you from quitting in the places you do out of habit. We all have places we habitually quit and coaching takes you beyond your "quit zone."
Question: Where do I habitually quit and what has been the result of doing so?
18. You don't need coaching
Powerful coaching is not a requirement for anyone. You don't need it. But what if you had it?
Question: Who are the people who invest in coaching for themselves?
19. You get to see the best in yourself and others
Powerful coaching will show you the good in yourself and others. So much of self-development is about highlighting the cracks or mending what's broken. Coaching is about expansion from the inside out.
Question: What good am I ready to see and live from in my life?
20. Success is inevitable
Powerful coaching has one outcome. See #13.
Question: What if success were inevitable — where would I lean in?
21. It is simple
Powerful coaching is simple. It lacks complexity because it doesn't need it to work. This doesn't make it easy, but still, see #20.
Question: What if it doesn't have to be so hard?