Why I care so much...
I am lucky enough to share an office with this girl a couple days each week. It's amazing we get any work done because we could talk, discuss, dance, and laugh for hours. Somehow we manage because we also inspire each other. She recently wrote this post about why she does what she does which I majorly commend her for. Writing down your convictions is one of the most vulnerable things you can possibly do. It means accepting that others may not accept you and your beliefs. But as I reminded her, when we ride the line between our convictions and never really stick our ground we are doing ourselves a huge disservice. And what a hard balancing act! Standing up for what you believe in publicly is tough stuff - so I take my hat off to you friend, because I admire your courage and I LOVE what you had to say. I want to be more like that. Not because I have anything in particular to prove but because I do have some things I stand for and want for all people. And I want to share that because it is why I care so much...
Life Coaching is just a mode and it makes my job cleaner because I'm certified, have professional education, and can put fun initials behind my name. But the mode is not what matters. The purpose is what matters. I like to observe this world of ours - all the things I understand and the many more I don't understand and here are a few of my thoughts over the past 30 years...
- People are very human. We love to tell stories that involve us being the center of our universe. And really, each of us is the center of our universe. It's how we survive because survival is a self-serving thing, so we have to be self-serving. But it gets us into trouble in our life and it can sometimes hurt others.
- People are, for the most part, very lost. We are doing our best to find ourselves but aren't even close. We are looking in all the wrong places - love & relationships, money, work purpose, and consuming things. We are missing a connection to the most pure and truthful place within ourselves and very few do this. But we are all capable.
- People are living in pain. I think everyone lives in some version of pain - anxiousness, sadness, worthiness, heartache, loss, body pain, reaching for acceptance, and dealing with trauma. We don't like to acknowledge pain so we pretend we're fine, we flee, we fight, we hurt others, we drink, we eat, we numb, and we hide.
- People hurt others because we are hurting. We aren't capable of expressing emotion that isn't born inside of ourselves. When we lash out, put others down, dissociate, curse, judge, act out, run away from, or any other form of pain towards another we are only expressing who we are in that moment.
- People are attached and need to let go. We are attached to status, things, our history, other people, money, wrong-doings, and memories. We use attachment as proof for why we can't move on or let go. Why we can't forgive. Letting go of attachment is incredibly difficult and I am no closer than the next. But letting go would free us all.
I don't feel good about any of this - I accept our human-ness but there is much I don't understand still. Consciously, we are young and it's ok if you don't totally understand what that means. I crave a world-wide shift that teaches all people we are all connected. There is no separation between you and me. You might tell me there is air and space and I will tell you that the human eye can not see the cosmic web that keeps us all connected. We attract what we see and how we see the world. If you see pain you live pain. If you see joy you live joy.
I work with individuals because, although we are all connected, it starts with the individual. Letting go of attachment and hurt starts with the self. I care because I should care and choose to.
Our world is the result of our deepest held beliefs and desires. We are the result of collective consciousness. And it's not pretty. If you look around it's not hard to see discrimination, hate, anger, aggression, and judgment. People still fighting for their right to love, people fighting for their right to food, and people fighting for their right to freedom. So what can we possibly do about it?
At the heart of why I'm here I know these things to be self-evident...
- Love is all there is. Period. I don't mean the kind of giddy-love and lust you experience in a relationship. I am talking about pure, un-interrupted love is all there is. It's how we give and forgive. It's how we create. And love is how we let go of what we don't understand. Love doesn't discriminate or get revenge. Love doesn't judge or carry anger. We are all capable of choosing love.
- Compassion is the most under-utilized emotion in the human experience. I believe with my body, mind, and spirit that if we all practiced boundless compassion towards all beings no matter what we could end suffering for good. Most of us should start with self-compassion, self-kindness, and self-forgiveness. We can't give that which we don't give ourselves.
- Kindness is essential to happiness. See above.
I've watched people in my life suffer, we all have. I've watched people I love dearly hurt themselves and those they care about because they couldn't forgive, let go, or find compassion in their heart. It's not easy - when we're hurt we feel the need for vindication and for retribution. But the only person you hurt when you hurt another is yourself.And I've watched it take people's lives away from them which is sad. Living without living is painful for all people. Stress, anxiety, perfectionism, control, scarcity, worry, fear, and burn out is not living.
If I can help people heal these pieces of themselves then maybe I can help heal the world. Just a little. One person at at a time. This is why I care...